It gets MESSY!!

Everyone wants a friend that they can call at 2am for any reason at all and they know they'll be received well. Everyone wants to be that friend that someone can call at 2am. The struggle with most people is that they don't realize what it takes to actually be in a friendship like this. It takes vulnerability, dedication, and grace. Why did I pick those 3 traits? Because those are the things that allow us to bear ourselves completely with another person expecting acceptance and loyalty from them, while also being able to offer those same things in return.

You might look at this list as I did and say, "Oh yeah, I can do that!" but when reality comes knocking you find yourself wondering how in the world you managed to ever get yourself into this situation in the first place! It's a lot easier said than done for sure!

I recently have had the opportunity of building some new relationships with a lot of really great people! At first you have this euphoric honeymoon phase. You like all the same things, you harass each other in love, you go everywhere together. But not long after that you hit a sort of wall-like effect where everything just stops. You have nothing in common. Jokes cease to be funny and instead come across very hurtful. You wonder why you became friends in the first place. It's at this juncture that the friendship either prevails or bails.

So here's some questions...how do you know when it's a friendship worth fighting for? How do you decide when it's the right time to talk to that person about some things you see in their life that could be destroying them, but you're afraid it will come off the wrong way and that they'll get mad at you? How do you become true friends with someone? Can you find it in yourself to love the unloveable about someone? Can you keep opening yourself up when you just keep getting hurt?

I'm not really sure where I was going with all this except to just think out loud about some relationships around me that are getting messy and I'm trying to figure out exactly how to deal with that in the best way possible without creating more drama. Real relationships are messy. If you want to have a real relationship, you have to be willing to get messy, stay dedicated, be selfless, and love with grace and kindness. Until you come to that point, you will never have a truly successful relationship where both people feel loved and accepted and where you are both pushing each other to be the best versions of themselves possible.

I will probably have more thoughts on this later...cuz that's what small group is all about! ;-)

Free Time

So, here's the thing...long day, 3 to 4 glasses of wine later, I'm asking myself another question, why am I wasting time? and is it wrong to waste this time? Is it really wasting time if you just need one night where you don't have anyone's needs to fill and you can just sit, drink wine while discovering new things on the web, and watch a Disney TV show about a girl growing up and you end up balling your eyes out because you just can't help but empathize with the challenges she's facing?? I know...I'm a little far out tonight, but it's true! Some times it's not wasting time to spend time on yourself. To allow yourself the freedom to just be you. To go with the flow. To do whatever your heart desires at the moment. Buy those temporary tattoos that you've been looking at...it's only 10 bucks! Be a little adventurous! It's not like you're diving head first off of the San Francisco bridge...not that I would ever recommend that! I got a night to myself, with no plans, I have laundry to do and bills to budget for....but wine and a discount Disney TV show are my companions tonight. I've decided that's ok...no guilt! Sometimes, you just need to live outside yourself for a little bit so that when you go back to reality you can really be there. Tomorrow I will be where I need to be because tonight I took the time to let myself live guilt-free :-)

Greener Grass

There have been several occurrences over the past few months that have caused me to stop and ponder. What is my goal in life right now? What am I striving towards? Am I living life to its fullest? Do I need to stop and recalculate how and why I do things? Am I being a good leader? Example?

It's hard to sit and think about the answers to those questions, mainly because you don't usually like what comes to mind. No matter who you are or what your philosophy on life is, there are always changes to be made and steps to be taken to improve yourself and the way you're living life. I've done a lot of revisiting those answers over the past year. Ultimately, life is yours to do with as you wish. You have been given the freedom to make lemonaid out of lemons, realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side, and so on and so forth. We all have a choice to make. The question is, are you going to make it?? 

Observation has led me to believe that the majority of society allows their life to control them when it really should be the other way around. Hear me clearly on this...no one can control their circumstances. Sometimes shit just happens. However, you can control your attitude, perspective, and beliefs. Those are the things that drive you through your circumstances. They can push you forward or hold you back. I could say it's a mind over matter thing, but that's not always the case. Sometimes we do fall, we struggle to get back up, or even decide to just wallow in the muck for a little while. It's not how long you sit there or how often you struggle or how hard you fall. What shapes you and carves your path in life is having the courage to get back up even if it means doing it all over again because you refuse to let your life control you. You will live life to its fullest potential. When your candle is snuffed out, it will still go on blazing in the hearts of the ones you loved because you weren't afraid to take the bull by the horns and show life who was boss. You loved sincerely. You fought courageously. You lived completely. You didn't stay knocked down. 

Make the grass green on your side of the fence. You already have the seeds you need to do it. You just need to realize the seeds' potential and let them grow!

~J