He admits that we don't work well together. That our personalities have not meshed well for a long time. That as we've grown our beliefs and life philosophies have also changed.
Yet despite all that he would be willing to take me back if I molded to his demands and beliefs, put myself back in a box that led me to severe seasons of depression and commit myself to a lifetime of misery being married to someone who I'm not in love with and who really doesn't appreciate who I am as a person. He would do all of that just because of duty. Not love. Duty. Responsibility.
I refuse to live a life of unhappiness chained to a man who doesn't really love me. They can persecute me for my decision all they want. I will not live in bondage anymore. I will not waste my life. We both deserve a chance to have a happy life.
Our vows stated that we would love each other until death. But isn't that what we're doing here? I love him too much to keep him chained to a life of misery. I love him so much that I'm setting him free. He deserves a chance at happiness. Our life together has been a good one but we can't keep going like this. We owe it to each other to let each other go.
I am strong enough for this. Even if all my friends and family desert me, I will flourish. Because I know deep down in my heart that this is the right choice for me. It's not a popular one especially in Christian circles. It's not an easy path to walk, separating from everything I've ever known. To choose to move away from the safety net and step out into the unknown. But I'm ready.
I'm ready to make this move. To take those steps. No matter what that means for my social life. Because I want to be true to myself and I respect Clint too much to continue lying to myself and trying to be something I'm not.
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