I do not know what is wrong with me this week. I can not sleep and the funny thing is...I still feel energetic all day.
I don't know what the deal is. It's almost like my mind is running a million miles a minute and I can't make it stop. Last time I remember losing sleep like this... In a good way... Was when we were getting to know each other and made me giddy and excited to be alive.
I think it's him. I think I've craved that connection for so long and we had that on Friday night. To be honest it scares me. I can't do this again. I can't let myself get wrapped up in something like that. I'm supposed to be a lone wolf from now on, just taking pleasure and companionship where I can.
This isn't safe or smart.
The timing is so off and he's SO much younger and inexperienced at life than me. Plus there's zero chance he's interested, unless he's just incredibly good about playing it cool.
To be honest I think he's just used to having girls chase him and doesn't really know how to do it in return. I've been observing this guy for awhile... I've seen what little game he actually has lol
So does that mean I keep my distance? Make him come to me? I mean I'm not chatting with him much either during the week or in person. I'm giving him plenty of space and not being at all clingy while still stealing moments at times to show him that I'm still here.
Hmmm....I hate this you know. I don't like complicated. I just want something simple. Something that fits. I don't like playing games and that's all that dating is these days.
I guess we'll find out this Friday night if he remembers the chemistry we had together last Friday. I may just play it light this weekend...I can't afford to sell my heart out again, especially for someone that isn't safe. And he is the worst kind of danger for me right now. He's the kind I just somehow can't seem to resist.
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