I can't believe that just happened. My mind is still blown. I just had sex with you... Real, heart pounding, body throbbing sex... And I don't regret it. I don't want anyone to find out lol but I don't regret it. Being with you was so amazing! And it wasn't just about your dick... Which does phenomenal work by the way. It's not even about the longevity. It was our chemistry... We are the perfect match for each other sexually. Two of a kind. Animals. I hope I was able to give you as much confidence as you just gave me. To know that what you have to offer is not a burden. The way you were made is so special and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I hope you saw that. I hope you saw that none of what I did today was a chore. I wanted it just as much as you did. And I don't mind a little hard work every now and then ;-)
The way you look at me...I feel like you're looking right through me. I wanted so many times to stop and ask what was going through your mind. Pleasure, amazement, satisfaction, wonder... Cuz that's what was going through my head. I hope I made you happy. I hope I was able to give you something to take away with you and carry with you always.
I love that you said you're addicted to me. I wish that weren't the case because I feel like I'm just eventually going to disappoint you. But that honestly makes me feel so special. I'll try not to get addicted to you but I can't promise that hasn't already happened.
Skin on skin, breath heavy, feeling you inside pulsing, your hands on my breasts, your lips so tender yet full of passion... Even just laying here thinking about it gets me going again. You may have woken a sleeping dragon.
I feel like now that we know what we're both capable of, there will be no holding back next time. Not that there was this time... But it can only get more amazing.
The sex today was amazing and so were you. I'm so thankful I had you to share this with me, to keep me safe in it.
Friday night was so full of emotion and passion...I feel like we had 2 days of foreplay lol.
Thank you for treating me with such respect and making me feel so special. A lot of my confidence lately has come from you. You see me for who I really am. I can be myself without reservation. And that's probably why I'm not freaking out right now.
I wanted to give myself to you. I wanted you to do what you wanted, no lines or holding back. I wanted to know what that would feel like to have that. And it honestly blew me away. Hearing your heavy breathing and audible gasps for more were so igniting to me. I want to make you sigh with pleasure like that all the time.
I don't know how we move forward from here. I honestly can't even think about it. I'm still so stuck on you and how you rocked my world today.
We'll figure it out eventually but we have time.
I think I need to go fuck myself again. Even just writing about this makes me hot. I can't believe I still want you that bad when after all that. I had no idea I had that much stamina. Apparently you bring out the best in me babe.
I hope you know how much perspective you've brought into my life. This area has been so hard so often for Clint and I and I realize now that I'm just an abnormal girl. I have a really high sex drive and that's ok but I shouldn't make Clint feel like he's not doing enough just because this is how I was built. We do have good sex regularly and he really does try to please me the best that he can but he can't help the way he was built either.
I hope you don't think that I had sex with you just for me. I mean we both had selfish reasons for this but I honestly just wanted you. I wanted to be with you fully and let you know how important you are to me. I've never had someone like you in my life before and although it's dangerous, it's still worth it.
I don't know how to move forward with this. In a sense, today really helped quiet my restless heart about you. Some curiosities were answered and some unfulfilled desires were met. That helps take a lot of pressure off of the situation. I know we love each other and we're want to be together as much as possible, but neither of us are willing to sacrifice our lives for it. We need to play the long game. So I think it might be best to stick to how often we were talking last week and try to keep it chill. If we can't then I'll just have to get into the habit of erasing my messages. That kills me tho because I want to keep the words you've sent. It's all I have of you. I don't have pictures or tons of memories. I have this weekend and texts. That's it. But if Clint opened my phone right now... It would be all over. Ugh... This sucks.
OK so I think I've successfully covered all tracks as much as is possible. He'd never come straight out and ask me on just a hunch so as long as there's no suspicion then we're golden. Unfortunately this means I'm going to have to block this weekend out of my mind for most of the time to be able to act naturally which is fine. Like I said he doesn't have to know everything and I know this is a big thing but that's why I have to be so careful.
I have zero regrets about sleeping with you. I would do it all the time if I could cuz I enjoyed being with you that much. Sometimes I wish life was different but this is our reality now and I'm ok with that. I'm just thankful I was able to have you for the weekend. Thank you for coming over and for giving yourself to me in such an amazing way baby. I will truly never forget this weekend and all the moments we shared. I don't care if no one else understands... We needed this.
I hope your procedure goes well tomorrow. I'm so sorry I wore you out today and possibly caused you more issues. I wish I would've known...I would've taken it easier on you.
I'm really happy I made you cum... That was my victory today. Also just being able to finally give myself to you...A win. You say you don't understand why I'm so drawn to you... And maybe you'll never understand but I'm happy. I'm happy being your girl. I'm happy that you've seen every inch of my body. I'm happy that you're my best friend.
Right now I need to turn you off lol or I'm gonna be so distracted tonight. So far it's going well. The more time that passes the easier it will be cuz I won't think about it as much. Well... At least not in that way lol
We do need to chat a bit about how to communicate when we don't want to be chill. I'd like to keep our texts all there as much as possible so if he ever does check, it looks natural. He would suspect more if nothing was there at all. But I know there are gonna be times we need to talk about stuff that he shouldn't see. I mean I guess I could just delete those conversations but that could take a lot of time lol Think on this one and see what you think. I mean we could use another messenger? I don't know... That might be complicating things too much. Gotta keep it simple. Ugh... Ok I'm done thinking about this for now. I hope you're not eating your arm off by now because you're so hungry. I hope you sleep well tonight and dream sweet dreams. I know I will :-)
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