My Decision

I've discovered some things: 

- I know this choice to be sexually involved with you is probably not right. 

- I know most people would regard this as cheating and would not approve. 

- I know this is my choice and for right now it's good for me even if it would hurt those around me if they find out. 

- I know that I love you and consider you my best friend.

- I know that I love my husband. He's still my first priority and I would sacrifice this instantly if this was causing him harm. 

- I am happy with this continuing in an undefined box. 

- I don't need to rely on you or this relationship to feel confident but the benefits of having you in my life are that I feel like I can take on anything life throws at me. 

-I know you're good for me... In ways I don't even know yet. 

-I know you need me too. And that we're both in the right place. 

-I know I've dreamed of an opportunity like this and that I would only ever trust you to exploit my adventurous side. 

-I am strong. I'm strong enough to know what I need and what's good for me. I'm not passing up on this opportunity to learn more about myself despite who would disagree. 

- I want to explore. I want to fuck with passion. I want to love unapologetically. 

-For once I want to stop analyzing everything and over-compensating for other people's faults. I want to think about myself for a change... And what I need. 

- I honestly don't mind living a double life. Which seems odd... But maybe I was built for this all along. I always did want to be a spy and live incognito.

-I'm gonna eventually run out of time for this. I'll have kids and greater responsibilities. But right now...I just want to be free. I want to be with you.

-I'm ok with this right now. If that changes you'll be the first to know. But please don't stop because of me. I make my own choices. I love you and I want you. This is happening. Right now... And I don't want it to stop yet.

P.S. Wine always helps ;-)